The greatest thing ever, Part II: Music Movies

At one point or another, I declared that I hate musicals and musical movies. This blanket statement was unfair; as there are several that I love to pieces. It turns out that I actually just hate The PHANTOM OF THE OPERA and LES MISÉRABLES. For Phantom, it’s just the romanticizing of a totally abusive asshole relationship that bothers me. “He’s misunderstood, you can never know about out LOVE tra la la” fuuck yooouuu! As for LES MISÉRABLES, I have no idea why, maybe because the damn thing never ever ends. Just hate. This is similar to my feelings about STAR TREK. I used to say that I hated it, but I recently discovered that it turns out that both the original and The Next Generation are pretty awesome in a dorky way. True confessions: when I was a little girl, I had a huge crush on the much-maligned Wesley Crusher. It was later that I decided that I hated all of it, but it turns out I just hate Voyager. Getting back to the point, here’s a run down of my favorite music movies with clips. You should rent them.

HEAD: THE MONKEES MOVIE
My other big childhood crush was Davy from the Monkees. A whole other generation of little girls got to fall in love with him through Nickelodeon syndication in the late 80s. Now that I’m a big girl, he just seems too pretty for me. Anyway, HEAD was the Monkee’s big artistic statement, “What is HEAD all about? Only John Brockman's shrink knows for sure!” It’s absurdist, essentially without a plot, surreal, and bizarre. I don’t think it’s supposed to make sense, and it doesn’t. I really can’t believe a studio gave them a bunch of money and allowed them to make this, but it was a different time. I don’t know why it doesn’t have a bigger following, because it’s so hilarious and strange, and the music is great. There’s a lot of celebrity cameos, including Annette Funicello and Jack Nicholson. I’ve never gotten anyone else to sit through the whole thing with me, so I guess you need to be hardcore, eh?





BEYOND THE VALLEY OF THE DOLLS

This is probably one of my very favorite movies of all time. Endlessly quotable and soapy, it is pretty obvious they were just making things up as they went along. It is a classic showbiz corruption of the innocent story, complete with, drugs, sex, attempted suicide, and a double wedding. Featuring the best fake band ever, The Carrie Nations, and a real band with one of the best names of all time, The Strawberry Alarm Clock!



TOMMY

Oh, TOMMY. This is probably the quintessential rock opera. Here’s another one I can’t believe a studio funded, as this had to be pretty expensive, but again, it was a different time, and the Who were really popular. Tommy is basically a religious savior story, revolving around how little Tommy grows up to be the new messiah, via the medium of pinball. There’s a bunch of other stuff going on, too, including a weird fantasy scene involving Ann Margaret in a beautiful all-white room, and then baked beans and chocolate spew forth from the television. There’s too much going on to recount it all here. More big celebrity cameos here, including Tina Turner as the Acid Queen, Elton John as the Pinball Wizard, and Jack Nicholson (again!) as a psychiatrist.





ROCK ‘N ROLL HIGH SCHOOL

A bubblegum punk love letter. I’m not going to pretend I’ve seen a significant fraction of everything Rodger Corman has been involved with, but I’d bet folding money that this is probably one of the best. High school kids, led by a girl with the improbable name of Riff Randell, take over the school with the help of the Ramones to fight the new fascist principal. Cute cute cute. A fun drinking game: drink whenever anyone says “ Rock and Roll High School.”








VELVET GOLDMINE

Directed by Todd Haynes, who also made the all-time classic “banned” movie: SUPERSTAR: THE KAREN CARPENTER STORY, a tale of celebrity anorexia told with Barbie dolls. VELVET GOLDMINE is a flashy, beautiful, fictional tribute to glam rock that showcases the romance between the David Bowie archetype Brian Slade (Jonathan Rhys Meyers) and the Iggy Pop/Kurt Cobain figure (Ewan McGregor) Curt Wylde. Christian Bale is also prancing around this movie looking hot. It’s pretty much live-action yaoi with a glam rock soundtrack. It has been said that this film is more style than substance, but to me, this movie is really about the redeeming power of music.





EDIT:
I can’t believe it! I totally forgot about THE PRODUCERS and WILLY WONKA AND THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY!

THE PRODUCERS

The musical remake is fine and all, but the 1968 original is one of the best movies ever made. Not really a musical, but a movie about a musical, the worst musical ever.
The last video is not really so much a spoiler, but I’d save it unless you have already seen the movie.







WILLY WONKA AND THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY

Another one featuring Gene Wilder that has an inferior remake. Anyone saying this movie is just goofy and fluffy probably hasn’t seen it, or saw it as a kid. It is often very funny and light-hearted, even cheesy. However, there are really creepy, even menacing, moments throughout the film. The bit with the tinker (“ up the airy mountain…”) is at about 6:15 in the second clip.